Posted: 07/19/2007 at 5:05am | IP Logged

One of our OH Sisters just posted a little of her heart on one of the other forums, about dealing with the pain of divorce.  Reading it reminded me of something that happened many years ago.

We were pastors of a small country church.  We had a sign by the highway, one that we could put the letters up on and change the message on it as often as we wanted.  We used that sign as a ministy tool, as the road was actually a State Highway and hundreds of cars traveled by daily.

One day I suggested to the Brother who was in charge of the sign, that he put on the sign, "God Loves Divorced People!"  That was it...just that message.

Several days later our church was hosting a local pastor's lunch fellowship.  Just about everyone had left except the local Methodist pastor.  We were talking when a car pulled up to the front door, a man in a business suit got out, came into the door, and asked, "Who put that message on your sign?"  I said, "I did."  He then grabbed my right hand and said, "I just had to drive up here and shake the hand of the person that put that message out.  I'm looking for Christ and I've been dealing with lots of condemnation over my recent divorce, and many of the churches that I've attended lately have put me down very hard.  I live in a distant state and was just driving though here on a sales call.  Thank you again!"  He then walked out the door, got in his car and drove off.  Both my Methodist friend and myself were left pretty awestruck, we didn't even have a chance to say a word.  The divorced Guy was gone.  But he sure left us impacted with God's love for all, even for those who have to get a divorce.

Divorce is not a good thing!  God doesn't love the act of divorce.  But He does love the people!

I just felt that I have to share that with you today!

If you are divorced and are struggling with yourself, feeling condemned, confused, etc.... please remember that you still are God's Favorite Person!

Blessings today,

Larry

Posted: 07/19/2007 at 3:10pm | IP Logged

Larry,

One thing struck me here. You said "impacted with God's love...even for those who HAD TO get a divorce."

You know, some people HAD TO get married. That's what we said in my day, that a person (who got pregnant outside of wedlock) HAD TO get married. But, I'd not heard these words before, that anyone HAD TO get a divorce.

You know, I was one of those. I just had to get a divorce. It was a miserable marriage all along. There was never any love between. Well, I was also one of those who had to get married. Then, after a short time, I had to get a divorce.

Married at 16, divorce final at 21. Yes, there was adultery. There was no real communcation between us. There were financial problems. And, oh yes, he was also a communist. His parents were registered members of the Communist Party of the United States.

The mind games were awful. I could no longer tolerate it, left him at 18 or 19. Returned to him for the sake of our 2 year old baby, but it couldn't work. It was never meant to be. Neither of us were Christians. My family was Catholics, but I wasn't.

Thank God that John (my ex) apparently accepted Jesus while in a coma on his death bed, as his wife led him to the Lord. She too was Catholic, but a saved Catholic. A tear rolled down his cheek as she asked him if he wanted Jesus in his life.

I'd witnessed to him many times, but he kept playing games with me...as he'd always done. Yes, I had to get a divorce. I do believe that John is in Heaven. Who knows but that if I'd stayed married, neither of us would have been saved.

With God's love,

Ann

Posted: 07/20/2007 at 6:48am | IP Logged

Ann,

I really appreciate your openness here!  Thank you!

You know, I am not an advocate of divorce, especially for Christians.  Corinne and I are very concerned about the divorce rate in the Church being the same as the world.  We are working hard to develop healthy Christian families. 

We just have to stem the tide of the divorce rate within the Church!  I'm sensing that you will be a great help in this effort!

Blessings,

Larry

p.s.  A couple of things to note here... #1.  Ann and her husband were divorced prior to becoming Christains.  #2.  Yes, God loves divorced people, but He doesn't love the act of divorce.  One of the hall marks of the Christian faith is, "Behold, all things become new!"  Somehow we are missing some things if that newness of life doesn't come into our relationship with Jesus and with each other, including our spouses.

We were recently in a conference with a Brother, Gaylord Enns.  His teaching on "God's forgotten Commandment" was excellent.  The forgotten commandment is simply... LOVE ONE ANOTHER!.  Let that begin today in our homes and families.  Remember the Church is to look like a HEALTHY Christian Family!

Posted: 07/20/2007 at 7:22am | IP Logged

Yes, Larry, the Lord told me some time back that He will be using me in ministering to divorced people...I myself having experienced a divorce.

Since becoming a Christian, I purposed in my heart that with God's help, I would never again experience another divorce. One pastor said that to me that God would not allow me to remarry until I had dealt with the issues that led up to the divorce. I have done that.

You're right. The man was not a Christian, and neither was I. We had married for the wrong reason. There was adultery during the marriage. He had remarried. There was therefore no hope for reconciliation of our marriage when I got saved (not that I wanted that, but God was checking my heart about my willingness).

I know a woman who believes that she is to stand for her marriage after their divorce EVEN AFTER her ex-husband was remarried.

There are so many teachings going around that people tend to believe some rather bizarre things, of which this is one of them. The Bible specifically says that in the case of adultery, divorce is allowed. It doesn't say that the wronged spouse MUST divorce, but that it is allowed.

If people would seek the Lord more BEFORE they marry, and really know it's His will for them, and marry the one God has for them, there would be fewer divorces. For those who did not do that, and are suffering because of it, they need to forgive themselves...for marrying the wrong person.

Too often, people see the verse that says that it's better to marry than to burn, and they marry someone they're physically attracted to but has a lot of baggage. I believe that verse is speaking of someone already in a relationship with another person, rather than looking to find someone just so they won't burn.

I've studied on divorce in the Bible more than many other subjects, once fasting and praying for several days over the issue...to evaluate whether or not Scripturally I could ever remarry. Although not considered an "authority" on the subject, I have learned some things.

Yes, God does want us to love one another, and to have healthy Christian families. One of the problems with this is that some people are wanting TO BE loved rather than wanting to GIVE love. Another problem is that they are so willing to give love, they haven't set proper boundaries. They give their love to the wrong person...or in the wrong way.

As we learn how to be led by the Holy Spirit in all we do, these things will change. As I know you know and are adamant about, we NEED revival!!

Ann

Posted: 07/24/2007 at 9:47pm | IP Logged

I was decieved.  I thought I married a Christian.  He spoke in tongues, got words of knowledge.  He run  food ministry to the poor, was in the bus ministry and graduarated from Bible school.  After 11 years of marriage, I find out he was a child molester.  He is in prison for life for this and I divorce him five yrs ago.

I wish things would have worked out.  I could not stay married to him.  He is not allow near the kids.

The one thing I miss is being married.  I am also scared to meet someone but wish I could.