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Topic: Sex before Marriage and sex in marriage
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Pamela Helmick
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Joined: 01/23/2006
Location: United States
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Posts: 2943
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Posted: 10/18/2008 at 3:04pm
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What does the Bible say about sex before marriage? And how does the Bible discribe marriage? How did people get married in Bible times? I can't find any scriptures of how the ritual or cermony should go and what the vows should be.
Is the promise to be faithful to one person the same as marriage? Does a person have to have a marriage license to be married in the eyes of God? How did people in Bible times married when there were no marriage licenses, no church ect.
Some people believe that if you are going to drive a car, you should drive it first before buying it. They feel this way with marriage that you should make sure you are going to like sex with the person before you marry that person.
If a couple moves in together and they decide that for life they will stay together, and never have sex with anyone else, is that the same as being married?
And what about the couples who are legally married who hate and can't stand each other. Are they really married in God's eyes. Supose they are legally married but never have sex, is that really a marriage?
Also could sex with your marriage partner ever be wrong? For example if one person wants sex and the other person is too sick to have it, and the spouse who wants it rapes their spouse, is this wrong and is it the same as lust? Supose one spouse wants sex three times a day but it really hurts the other spouse to have sex three times a day but they make them have it anyhow would this be wrong?
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Faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love.
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Ann Doupont
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Joined: 05/30/2005
Location: United States
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Posted: 10/18/2008 at 8:00pm
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Pamela,
You've asked a lot of questions here. I will answer some of them. Having sex without being officially married is called fornication. You can check out that word in a concordance. Fornication is a sin against a person's own body.
Jesus spoke about the writing of a certificate of divorcement in certain cases. That was in writing. There may or may not have been papers when a couple married. However, we do know that there were official ceremonies, as Jesus went to the wedding feast at Cana.
Trusting God is the key in a situation relating to knowing who to marry. Not the same as driving a car. Sorry. Not even close. Cars can be traded in or sold. Marriage is to be for a lifetime.
Ann
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Larry Silverman
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Joined: 01/30/2005
Location: United States
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Posts: 994
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Posted: 10/19/2008 at 9:55am
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Hi Pamela,
You ask some interesting questions here, like Ann said,
"You asked a lot of questions here."
But let me try to throw some light on one of them, that
about the biblical form of marriage. You are right in
that the NT is very silent on the forms of marriage. I
think that God did that on purpose, as He knew that the
Bible would go to many different types of cultures, and
be read and used as a model for many thousands of years.
So to me marriage is according to the customs of the
place you abide in and the time of the culture you are
alive. So today in the US, marriage is getting a
marriage licenses from a county clerk someplace and
having a legally responsible person perform the marriage
and sign the license.
I've performed many weddings services for true believers
and the anointing of God flooded the place. I've also
done a few for non believers and all it was was a legal
ceremony with no anointing. So to me, true marriage is
between a CHRISTIAN MAN and WOMAN! God honors that!
To my way of thinking there is no marriage outside of
Christ. People live together and are unsaved, so what??
It's not best, but they will not be judged because they
live together, they will only face judgment with what
they did with Jesus Christ. So... Christians (a couple)
should get married according to the laws of the land,
they should love each other, not fight, argue or get
divorced. They should enjoy a healthy sexual
relationship! They should each not consider their own
bodies, but that of their spouse. The bible talks of
only withholding sex from a spouse on occasions of
fasting, etc.
And... 3 times a day! Hummm.. I don't think it would be
sin for a spouse to say no to that! lol
Blessings,
Larry
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Dr. Larry Silverman, M.C./Psy., M.Min., D.C./Psy.
http://www.larrysilverman.com
http://www.larrysilverman.blogs.com
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Pamela Helmick
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Joined: 01/23/2006
Location: United States
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Posts: 2943
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Posted: 10/19/2008 at 5:49pm
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Thanks Larry and Ann for answering my questions.
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Faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love.
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