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Pamela Helmick
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Joined: 01/23/2006 Location: United States
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Posts: 2943
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Posted: 12/27/2008 at 2:59pm
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Last night I got a nasty phone call from my dad that he didn't like his Christmas gift I brought him. He felt I didn't spend enough on him. He began putting me down saying that the gifts I brought the family were cheap. I tried to explain that I did the best I could. But he would not listen. He was screaming and yelling and it didn't make since for him to be acting this way so I hang up on him.
I wrote him an email explaining that I have low income, that I used a whole pay check that should have been my bill money to buy everyone in the family one gift.
Every yr before, or on or after Christmas he starts some kind of family drama. I am so sick of putting up with this. I am tired of the nasty phone calls during Christmas time, I m tired of my heart pounding so hard in my chest that I feel I could have a heart attack from the stress he puts me under.
Last yr he had the whole family gang up on me and jump my case after we open gifts.
Does anyone have any ideals on how to deal with this kind of abuse?
__________________ Faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love.
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Ann Doupont
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Joined: 05/30/2005 Location: United States
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Posts: 4763
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Posted: 12/27/2008 at 4:19pm
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Pamela,
I'd stay away from him and stop buying him gifts unless/until his behavior changes. We're to owe no one anything but to love them.
Since you're low on money, it's probably best to not spend money on gifts...but to pay bills instead.
Also, there's the need to forgive those who wound us...and to pray for those who despitefully use us...then, release him to the Lord.
Bind those words spoken to you in Jesus' Name and loose yourself from them. Invite Jesus into those wounded areas of your inner being (your heart, spirit, soul). Invite Him to come between you and your memories as the Holy Spirit begins to show you things. That's called "inner healing."
I've gone through that process several, or many, times. God doesn't want us carrying the pain, but to heal it.
Love,
Ann
__________________ Books and booklets available for purchase. More information at www.anndoupont.org.
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Kathy Bippus
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Joined: 01/25/2005 Location: United States
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Posted: 12/28/2008 at 10:57am
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Really good Ann,
There may be woundings within that we are aware of and woundings which we are not. Coming into the Love of our Father, seeing as He sees, Truth makes free.
Pamela,
I found a site which has a couple of free e-books available as well as some articles. As I read through, I found myself asking Father to reveal further any inner wounding which i may not be aware of, but still yet may function or live out of. He is Faithful and True to reveal and make whole..Thank You Father
Much Love and blessings to you Pamela,
http://www.placesinthefathersheart.org/index.php
Edited by Kathy Bippus on 12/28/2008 at 10:58am
__________________ In His Love
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Pamela Helmick
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Joined: 01/23/2006 Location: United States
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Posted: 12/28/2008 at 5:31pm
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Thank you Ann and Kathryn. I know it is important to forgive him. But for now I need to let things cool down before I call him. If I were to call him soon he would start yelling and screaming again. Thanks for the link Kathryn.
__________________ Faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love.
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Larry Silverman
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Joined: 01/30/2005 Location: United States
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Posted: 12/30/2008 at 5:26am
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I fully agree with Ann. Pamela, remember that in most cases, the only way adult people can be abused is for them to give permission to the abuser to abuse them. Make sense? In other words, you continue to put yourself in the place of being abused by being available to your father to abuse you.
Yes, as a Christian you have to forgive him, yet you do not have to continue to put yourself in the place of being a target for abuse. Stay away from this guy! If this were to happen to me, I'd have no further contact with him until I was certain that the Lord wanted me to, then I'd have His anointing on my ministry to him. I'm sure that the Lord would show you that your motives are not necessarily the Lord's motives in reaching out to your father.
__________________ Dr. Larry Silverman, M.C./Psy., M.Min., D.C./Psy.
http://www.larrysilverman.com
http://www.larrysilverman.blogs.com
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Pamela Helmick
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Joined: 01/23/2006 Location: United States
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Posted: 12/30/2008 at 3:16pm
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
__________________ Faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love.
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