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Encountering Life's Issues - Is there a God? Is God real?
OpenHeaven.com Forum : Encountering Life's Issues - Is there a God? Is God real?
Subject Topic: gettting your teenagers to go to church Post Reply Post New Topic
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Pamela Helmick
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Posted: 02/28/2008 at 5:37am | IP Logged Quote Pamela Helmick

Last night the subject of church came up at my house.  When I worked at the school my children went to church regularly but when I started working at the Dollar General and Famous Labels, there wasn't a spot on my schedule where I could take the kids to church.

I was working lots of nights and on Sundays there were times I would have to open the store.  I didn't have time to take the family to church.

Sometimes I would work all day at the Dollar General store on Sunday during the summer.

My oldest daughter mention that she would like to go back to church again and I mention that the family needs to go back to church again and she said if she was going to church, she would make them all go.  My 14 yr old got angry and said no one is going make her go to church or make her be a Christian that we would have to put a gun to her head to get her to go to church.  She said she did not want to be a Christian, she does not like Christianity and if I make her she will become a satanist or wiccan and worship satan in my house or do spells in my house.

Her oldest sister told her she loved her and cares about her and it doesn't matter to her if she is Christian or not but that she needs to repect and obey me living in my house.  She said she does not respect me because I can't make my own desisions and that I am always going to people for advice instead of deciding things for myself and until I learned to decide on my own without advice she would start respecting me.

She also has issues about me being on the computer.  I have cut back a lot.  I only get on either when the kids are in school or when they are in bed at night.  Sometimes I might get on a little early after the kids have had their turns and I only have maybe one turn or two at the most in a day.  I get upset when I tell them I want to be on at 9 pm or 10 pm and they are still on playing games and drawing at the time I wanted to be on. They get mad at me for getting on them but I feel that I told them the time I want to be on.  I did the cleaning and cooking and the whole mommy thing and I even waited at 10 pm to log on and they  are still on and have issues with me having a turn.

She also complained about me spending time with my friend Sandy.  So I even try to only visit Sandy when they are in school.  Sandy is my neighbor and she is a widow and depressed about somethings going on in her life.  She is upset with her kids not being there and I want to be there for her. There are times I go there to be there for her and I enjoy her company but Heather feels that I have children and should not have friends.  Yet my children have friends and associal life.

I like to know what to do with Heather.  I feel that if I force her to go to church it will make her rebel. She said she would do some pretty bad things to where she would have to be put in foster care if I make her go to church.  I need some Christian advice on these issues in my home.

I am unemployed and need to look for a job soon but I feel I need to be home at night with my children.  I don't know how I am going to get a job where I don't have to work nights.  The night jobs have destory my family as a Christian family.  It miss up our church life and miss up me being that nourishing mother that I used to be.  I believe that this is what Heather's problem is. She keeps saying I need a mother and yet I feel I have been a mother.  When I was working nights, the children did not get home cook meals, we lived out of the box, I wasn't there to make sure they brushed their teeth and went to bed at their bed time.  Now I am home to be that noursihing mother but this could all change if I get a job.  Please someone help me with this. 



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Pamela Helmick
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Posted: 02/29/2008 at 9:27am | IP Logged Quote Pamela Helmick

I was hoping to get some answers here at Open Heaven but it seems  that everyone decided not to respond.  Well maybe you could at least pray for her then.  I am going though some real battles with her.

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Anita Lea
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Posted: 02/29/2008 at 7:07pm | IP Logged Quote Anita Lea

Hey sis, just want you to know that I feel your pain!  When my son was in the 10th grade he decided he wasn't going to church and to my knowledge still doesn't.  He is now 22 and in the Navy.  The lord showed me a vision of my son and I know that one day he will be serving him.  I don't know how you can physically get a child to go to church that doesn't want to go.  I do know that the Lord has the answer and I will be lifting you up in prayer.  I know that the situation looks beyond repair to you sis but give it to God.  Sometimes there are situations that we have to let go and let God.  Just show the love of Christ around her.  Just love, love, love on her!  Sounds like she wants attention.  Do you and her have some alone time, like go out to eat just you and her?  Maybe she just wants some alone time with mom.  Keeping you in my prayers and God is in control!    love ya

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Marjo Richardso
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Posted: 02/29/2008 at 7:37pm | IP Logged Quote Marjo Richardso

Pamela, my heart goes out to you! Why does it have to hurt so much when these precious little'uns start making bad choices, and we cannot do a thing about it...  Just pray, pray, pray.  And trust that God will indeed bring them back one day.  God bless you sister with renewed hope. He is good and faithful even when we aren't.

But each individual must travel their own road, make their own mistakes, learn their own lessons. Sometimes the Lord reveals Himself to those He's been calling, only after they've come to the end of their own road...
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mariateresatee
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Posted: 03/02/2008 at 3:30pm | IP Logged Quote mariateresatee

Father, I pray for financial and spiritual provision for Pamela and her family. Thank You, Father.

Rather than go to church, why not be the church in your own home? First, everyday, soak yourself in God's presence (alone, with your Bible on hand, your computer should be shut down at these times). Then you and your children could meet with the Lord every breakfast or dinner to share and pray and sing to Him. Be real and dependent on Him when you do this. If Heather does not want to join, don't force her. She'll be attracted by Jesus as you lift His name up in your home. Maybe you can even invite your friend Sandy to your daily time together with the Lord if He so leads.

In Acts 2:40, Peter told his listeners to save themselves from "this perverse generation." The verses following tell us how they were to do it. After repenting, getting baptized and receiving the Holy Spirit, they were to meet daily in public and from house to house, diligently doing what the apostles said, sharing meals together and giving thanks to God. I think that going back to that lifestyle is the only way we can save our children from this our own perverse generation.

And when the Lord gives you another job, don't forsake your time alone with Him and your assembling together with your children in Him. His word says, "Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness."

I hope this helps. Smile, Pamela. His joy is our strength!



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Kathy Bippus
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Posted: 03/04/2008 at 10:25am | IP Logged Quote Kathy Bippus

Here's a good article Pamela along the lines of what Tere is sharing, be blessed....

The Changing Church Paradigm - Discussions & Articles

Don’t Wait For Church - Robert Ricciardelli

Don't Wait For Church
by Robert Ricciardelli

Don’t Wait for Church, you are the Church! I still hear comments such as “We have invited them to church several times, but they will not come”, or “If we can just get them to church, then the Lord will touch them and they will get saved.” Unfortunately, these comments come from mature believers that know and love Jesus. In my experience, 90% of believers have been taught, or have been led to believe that this is the way. The gathering of the saints should be the gathering of the saints, and yes, we should welcome unbelievers to our gatherings, but better yet, lead them to Jesus first, then bring them to the gathering for equipping.
You are the Temple
Part of the problem is that we do not understand who we are in Him. When we realize that we are the house of God, then God is everywhere we are. He is just as powerful in me, whether I am on a mountain top, by the sea, in a Mosque, or in an organized church meeting. There is no question there is magnified power and presence in Christ when 2, 3, or 30 gather in His name, but His power resides in you through the Holy Spirit, all the time. The Holy Spirit in God’s people often has been dormant outside of Sunday, and outside of church meetings for much of Christian history. The Kingdom of God wants so much to impact every aspect of our lives; every day, every minute, every breath, every step, every territory, every person, and every system we engage with.
We need to have the mind of Christ, living out the life of Christ through us. Wherever Jesus walked, ministry happened. Whatever Jesus did, there was ministry. Whoever Jesus met, there was ministry. Whoever he touched there was ministry. When he walked into the building there was ministry, and when he walked out of the building there was ministry. When He prayed, it was ministry, when he played, it was ministry. When He worshiped, it was ministry, when he loved unconditionally, it was ministry. His life was ministry from the time He woke, until the day was done, and so likewise should our life be.
Transformation rather than Reformation
Most of us are thankful for the reformation. Is reformation the answer? We must take a closer look at reformation, and what was actually reformed. I once heard it said that Luther set me free, and then became my jail warden. We are all thankful for the reformation and many Catholic friends are as well, as it pushed all of us closer to the Kingdom of God. Luther talked about the priesthood of all believers and yet it still was the “men of the cloth” that did the ministry. The ministry was still viewed as happening in the building. Formal schooling and ordination were required to engage in the priesthood ministry. And even today, we hear the priesthood of all believers being preached often, but in practice, we are rarely seeing it.
All of us are thankful and continue to be thankful for all gatherings in the name of Jesus. We all benefit from them and it has brought us to today. In the midst of denominationalism, and many systems of faith and religion, even the very best of them are inadequate at best. They are inadequate because they only are able to communicate the Jesus who is the only one who can transform the hearts of men. When transformed hearts enter their blood purchased Kingdom reality, then we begin to see the nation of kings and priests engage with the world.
Revelation 5:10 Then you made them a Kingdom, Priests for our God, Priest-kings to rule over the earth.
Expect God moments right where you are
A transformed Kingdom personality now is not bound by systems, because they are not of the system. They may be in a system, which takes the form of Church organizations, families, corporations, governments, culture, etc. But they are only in the system, but OF His Kingdom. Life or death, success or failure, take on whole new meanings in those that are consumed with Christ and impassioned, and empowered for His Kingdom glory.
When a business man or woman are “Kingdomized”, they get up each day excited for what the Lord will have for them that day. They begin to walk and flow in His “Now” presence all day long. They begin to hear what the Father hears, they begin to see what the Father sees, regardless of what they hear and see in the natural. When they go into a meeting, they expect His presence to break down walls while bringing divine insight. When they walk into a potential business deal, they expect divine favor. When they encounter hostility, they realize that this person is hurting and needs a word fitly spoken, healing, but mostly needs love.
When they drive through their neighborhood, they pray for their neighbors and ask the Lord for His desire and love to reach them. God begins to open opportunities to touch those around them and because many of them have never seen Jesus released with such love and acceptance, they desire to follow these royal priests. They desire relationship and wanting to know, “What is this love? I have never seen this coming from a Christian. These types usually preach to me, and tell me I am no good, but these guys are different, what is this that I am feeling from them.”
Go therefore and love
Our life is about loving God and loving others in everyday life; in your home, in your business, and in your corporate gatherings. Don’t just wait for the corporate times to impact lives. You are a ready instrument now if the Holy Spirit is within you. He is always ready to impart His love and mercy through you. Be ready, be willing, and be obedient to deliver His love and His touch wherever you go. Do not worry about chapter and verse conversations. And please refrain from using “thee” and “thou” when talking to unbelievers. They already think we’re crazy believing in an invisible God who sent His Son to die. This is strictly my personal opinion, but please don’t give them any more rejection fuel by talking in a 500 year old language! Speak from your heart, live the gospel of love, and be the gospel to the world. It must be authentic and it must be birthed from His love.
The Kingdom of God is relational - supernaturally relational, so watch for the people the Lord joins you with. Most conversions come from relationships. You do not have to invite them to church for ministry, you are the ministry. No need to feel compelled to lead them in some form of prayer, first love them, be real, and watch Love lead them to knowing who you know. Once Jesus has set them free, you can invite them to the gathering, training, and corporate worship centers to grow and relate with others. They will become part of your Kingdom family and now have the opportunity to extend the Kingdom way to their people.
His presence is within you wanting to impact every jurisdiction. Watch the gates of resistance come crashing down as you bring His presence and your faith to combustible kingdom influence. Expect revelation, expect impartation, and expect miracles whenever you show up. Vision and dreams will become regular realities of Kingdom life, and what was once possible now becomes probable, all to the glory of our King.
What a glorious Kingdom, what a glorious God!


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Gayle Getz
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Posted: 03/04/2008 at 10:51am | IP Logged Quote Gayle Getz

NOW WORD HERE, FOR SURE!!! THE "GOOD NEWS" SPEAKING IN, THROUGH, AND BY THE BODY OF CHRIST. SHARIN' HIS MIND, THE WISDOM OF GOD FLOWIN' AND TOUCHIN' EVERY PART OF EARTH-HEAVEN COME TO EARTH! YEAH GOD, YOUR GLORIOUS PRESENCE!!! YOUR KINGDOM COME, YOUR WILL, WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. TY BROTHER ROBERT AND SISTER KATHY!    Love you ALL-prayin'



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Pamela Helmick
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Posted: 03/04/2008 at 11:48am | IP Logged Quote Pamela Helmick

Good News.  Heather is acting much better.  Thanks for your prayers and advice.  I called her school guidance counselour last Friday and told her what was going on and she called Heather out of class and talked to her.  A real change take place after that.  I don't know what her school guidance counselour said but it seemed to make a difference.

She seems more close to me since then. I don't know if it was all just hormonal or what but she is acting better.  My friend Sandy said to just watch monthly to see if their is a change about the sametime every month and just maybe I should take her to a female check up.  She told me there is meds that can help balance things out to where she isn't in a screaming fit every month.



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Anita Lea
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Posted: 03/04/2008 at 12:49pm | IP Logged Quote Anita Lea

I pray that God wll intervene so she won't have to be on meds!  That should be a last resort!  Just believe God sister!  He wll be fathful and come through for you.   I don't think children should be on medication if it can be accomplised.  Especially anti-depressants!!!  God bless you!

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