Posted: 05/11/2009 at 1:42pm | IP Logged

Larry Silverman wrote: Hi Val, Welcome to Openheaven.com!  Wow.. by your post, it looks like you certainly have some trials and tribulations going on in your life.  You know there are a few things that you didn't mention, things that might have some serious implications for your situation.  I guess the first thing that I'd be interested is what is your current walk with the Lord like?  Are you a part of a good church?  Even though the Church isn't always perfect, often times you can meet some good people that can help you with direction in your life.  The Bible has lots of answers for situations that you are finding yourself in.  The main thing for you to know is that, in spite of our mistakes and even sins, God makes a way for us to escape it all through Jesus Christ.  So, I want to point your direction to Him.  In Matthew 6:33 Jesus says, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these other things will be added unto you!"  So... as you seek God, continue to chase after Him with everything that is in you, you will soon note that the problems of your life will loom rather small compared to the great love of God through Jesus! Keep us all updated, I'm sure that many who read your post will hold you up in prayer! Blessings, Larry

Thanks for your reply. Firstly when you say things, things like what? I don't really understand the question. Secondly, My walk with God now isn't as close as it use to be. It's like I'm so hurt with so many situations, I'm feeling hopeless, I stare at my Bible and nothing. This relationship really changed my outlook on life. It has broken me especially when I put so much into this and a lot of things that happened. I have a good church but since it's not too close to my house, I don't go as much as I would have loved to.

I'm so broken, I don't even know how to communicate with God. It's like I'm dreaming.

Posted: 05/11/2009 at 1:44pm | IP Logged

I believe the only option and alternative I have to suicide now is God. I'm just so so so hurt. I was even asking if It's God actually punishing me or hurting me. I believe God is alive and there and he would heal me, I just dont know when.

Posted: 05/11/2009 at 2:26pm | IP Logged

@Larry Silverman

Thank you so much. Please put me in your prayers, I really need help. I'm so hopeless and down.

Posted: 05/11/2009 at 2:35pm | IP Logged

I would definitely. I'm just looking at all the sacrifices I made, everything he had done to me and I forgave, also knowing who I am, just one day, i blew up with words. I didn't mean them, he has frustrated me so much but I keep tolerating and now he made me look like a failure. Told me I don't know how to hold a man. Forgetting the good things I've done for him and how he frustrated me so much to the extent and begging him for weeks???

It really really hurts.

Posted: 10/03/2009 at 1:00am | IP Logged

Hi Val,

I understand your hurting, because I have been there.  Really been there.  Rejection is a stabbing pain that seems unending.

My only words to encourage you would be to bring to your understanding that the very things that this man has done to you wrongly, everyone has done to God.  We have lied, cheated, ignored, mistreated, put on the back burner etc.  And now knowing this, you can find it in your heart to forgive this man, not go back to him, but forgive him, letting go of all bitterness that will keep you from spiritual health, because you, and I have been guilty of the same adultry to our Lord.  Wow!  The grace of God, once we see it, we can dispense it.

This man, as you have explained above, is using you, though he may find comfort in you or familiarity, its not love, not the love that God shows us to show.  I know it hurts, but when you are broken and open the door to Jesus once again, he heals.  And you'll be ministering to other broken hearts :)